confidence

  1. Mt. Stupid
  2. Valley of Despair
  3. Slope of Enlightenment
  4. Plateau of Sustainability

competence

MT. STUPID

the gap, plotted

A hundred designs about the distance between how sure someone is and how right they are. The joke includes whoever is wearing it; that is the only way it works.

300 designs

  1. RESERVED FOR THE TOP PERCENTILE
  2. I FINISHED THE CROSSWORD IN PEN
  3. I REPEAT MYSELF FOR THE PEOPLE IN BACK
  4. ALREADY RIGHT, JUST WAITING FOR YOU TO NOTICE
  5. I SKIPPED THE TUTORIAL AND STILL WON
  6. I WON THIS ARGUMENT BEFORE IT STARTED
  7. SOME OF US READ THE INSTRUCTIONS
  8. I HOLD THE DOOR FOR PEOPLE STILL CATCHING UP
  9. BLESS YOUR EFFORT
  10. THIS REFERENCE WAS ABOVE MOST ROOMS
  11. ONLY THE SHARP ONES WILL LAUGH AT THIS
  12. I'M PATIENT WITH THE ROOM
  13. SILENTLY JUDGING YOUR ARGUMENT
  14. I ATTEND MEETINGS I COULD'VE RUN BETTER
  15. IT'S CUTE THAT YOU TRIED
  16. I SPEAK SLOWLY FOR A REASON
  17. NOT EVERYONE WILL UNDERSTAND THIS SHIRT. THAT'S THE POINT.
  18. I READ FASTER THAN YOU THINK
  19. WAITING FOR EVERYONE ELSE TO CATCH UP
  20. THE BAR WAS LOW. I CLEARED IT BY A LOT.
  21. I DON'T BRAG, I JUST STATE FACTS
  22. SMALL TALK IS A SKILL I CHOOSE NOT TO USE
  23. I WAIT FOR THE ROOM TO CATCH UP
  24. IF YOU LAUGHED, YOU'RE ONE OF THE SMART ONES
  25. I KNOW THE ANSWER, I'M LETTING YOU TRY
  26. I READ PAST THE HEADLINE
  27. I'M NOT BETTER THAN YOU. I'M CORRECT MORE OFTEN.
  28. EXCLUSIVE CLUB: POPULATION, FEWER THAN YOU'D THINK
  29. MOST CONVERSATIONS MOVE AT MY PATIENCE LEVEL
  30. I HAVE THOUGHTS. I'M NOT SHARING THEM WITH YOU.
  31. I LET WRONG ANSWERS BREATHE BEFORE I FIX THEM
  32. FILTERING OUT THE SLOW READERS SINCE BIRTH
  33. YOU CAN VOTE AGAINST FACTS. THEY STAY TRUE.
  34. I GET IT THE FIRST TIME IT'S EXPLAINED
  35. I'VE ALREADY SOLVED THIS IN MY HEAD
  36. NOT EVERYONE IS BUILT FOR THIS LEVEL OF THINKING
  37. MY OPINIONS COME WITH FOOTNOTES
  38. TRIVIA NIGHT ENDS EARLY WHEN I'M ON YOUR TEAM
  39. I DID THE READING. DID YOU?
  40. I FACT-CHECKED YOU IN MY HEAD ALREADY
  41. SOME PEOPLE PEAK IN HIGH SCHOOL. I PEAK IN EVERY ROOM.
  42. I LET PEOPLE FINISH THEIR WRONG ANSWER FIRST
  43. CONFIDENCE BACKED BY ACTUAL HOMEWORK
  44. I'VE NEVER NEEDED THE HINT
  45. QUIETLY THE SMARTEST PERSON HERE
  46. MY GUESSES BEAT MOST PEOPLE'S RESEARCH
  47. THE SMARTEST PERSON IN MOST ROOMS, STATISTICALLY
  48. I ALREADY FIXED THE THING YOU'RE EXPLAINING
  49. IF YOU HAVE TO ASK, IT'S NOT FOR YOU
  50. I'M NOT ARROGANT, I'M JUST RIGHT
  51. MOST ROOMS I'M IN, I'M THE AVERAGE-RAISER
  52. I SOLVE PROBLEMS BEFORE THEY'RE ANNOUNCED
  53. THIS SHIRT HAS A VOCABULARY REQUIREMENT
  54. CORRECT, AS USUAL
  55. I DON'T NEED VOLUME, I HAVE ACCURACY
  56. THE ONLY ONE WHO READ THE AGENDA
  57. RIGHT AGAIN, SHOCKINGLY
  58. I DON'T NEED TO YELL, I'M JUST CORRECT
  59. I PEAKED INTELLECTUALLY AND NEVER LOOKED BACK
  60. THAT JOKE WAS FOR THE THREE PEOPLE WHO'D GET IT
  61. I EXPLAIN THINGS TWICE SO YOU DON'T FEEL BAD
  62. NOT EVERYONE CAN KEEP UP. THAT'S OKAY.
  63. I'D EXPLAIN IT, BUT YOU'D NEED A FEW TRIES
  64. IT'S NOT BRAGGING IF IT'S TRUE
  65. I ANSWER QUESTIONS NO ONE ELSE UNDERSTOOD YET
  66. I DON'T ARGUE, I WAIT FOR YOU TO REALIZE
  67. MY EMAILS ARE SHORTER BECAUSE I'M RIGHT
  68. FASTEST TO THE RIGHT ANSWER, SLOWEST TO SAY IT
  69. I'D ARGUE, BUT I'VE ALREADY WON
  70. SOME JOKES ARE A FILTER, NOT A PUNCHLINE
  71. I'M PATIENT WITH PEOPLE STILL CATCHING UP
  72. MOST PEOPLE WOULDN'T GET THIS SHIRT
  73. I NOD, BUT I DISAGREE
  74. I SIMPLIFY MY VOCABULARY AROUND MOST PEOPLE
  75. YOU'LL GET THERE EVENTUALLY
  76. INTERNALLY CORRECTING EVERYONE SINCE BIRTH
  77. ABOVE AVERAGE AND AWARE OF IT
  78. MOST PEOPLE PEAK EARLIER THAN ME
  79. I LET YOU FINISH TALKING. YOU'RE WELCOME.
  80. I'M NICE TO EVERYONE, EVEN THE CONFUSED ONES
  81. THE ROOM GOT SMARTER WHEN I WALKED IN
  82. I LET THE SILENCE DO THE CORRECTING
  83. MY SILENCE IS NOT AGREEMENT
  84. YOU'RE DOING GREAT FOR YOUR LEVEL
  85. READING LEVEL: ADVANCED. ROOM: NOT SO MUCH.
  86. I ALREADY KNOW I'M RIGHT
  87. I DON'T ARGUE WITH PEOPLE WHO HAVEN'T READ IT
  88. STANDARD DEVIATION: ME
  89. I BRING THE CURVE UP WHEREVER I GO
  90. I'M NOT BETTER THAN EVERYONE. JUST MOST PEOPLE.
  91. I GIVE EVERYONE A FAIR CHANCE TO KEEP UP
  92. I SCORE HIGH WITHOUT STUDYING, UNLIKE SOME
  93. I ANSWER MY OWN QUESTIONS CORRECTLY THE FIRST TIME
  94. I'VE HEARD A SMARTER VERSION OF YOUR POINT
  95. CORRECT AND UNBOTHERED
  96. I CARRY THIS TEAM, QUIETLY
  97. CONFIDENCE IS EASY WHEN YOU'RE USUALLY RIGHT
  98. I READ THE WHOLE EMAIL CHAIN, UNLIKE SOME
  99. I SLOW DOWN MY SENTENCES FOR YOU
  100. I PREPARED FOR THIS MEETING. CLEARLY NOT EVERYONE DID.
  101. SIDE EFFECTS INCLUDE CONFUSION. YOURS, NOT THEIRS.
  102. PROMOTED FOR PERSONALITY, NOT PERFORMANCE
  103. A PLUS FOR EFFORT, C MINUS FOR EVERYTHING ELSE
  104. NOT DUMB. JUST AGGRESSIVELY OPTIMISTIC.
  105. BIRTHDAY PERSON: LONG ON CHARM, SHORT ON FACTS
  106. GREAT HAIR, QUESTIONABLE DECISIONS
  107. WORLD'S MOST ENTHUSIASTIC INTERN, FULL-TIME, SADLY
  108. PARTICIPATION TROPHY: LIFE EDITION
  109. EVERY FAMILY NEEDS ONE OF ME
  110. AWARDED FOR TRYING VERY HARD TO BE RIGHT
  111. VOTED MOST LIKELY TO ARGUE WITH A VENDING MACHINE
  112. GROUP PROJECT'S REAL MVP: CONFIDENCE
  113. HANDLE WITH PATIENCE
  114. WISDOM NOT INCLUDED, CAKE IS
  115. FATHER'S DAY: ADEQUATE DAD, ENORMOUS CONFIDENCE
  116. STILL FIGURING OUT THE PRINTER
  117. EMOTIONAL SUPPORT HUMAN, FACTUAL SUPPORT PENDING
  118. SIBLING RANK: LOUDEST, NOT SMARTEST
  119. AGED LIKE MILK, CONFIDENT LIKE WINE
  120. MOTHER'S DAY: RAISED ME ANYWAY
  121. NEW GUY ENERGY, FIVE YEARS IN
  122. PUNCHES ABOVE ITS WEIGHT CLASS, INTELLECTUALLY
  123. PROOF THE FAMILY LINE TOOK A RISK
  124. YOU FILL A ROOM, MOSTLY WITH NONSENSE
  125. GRADUATION: THE DIPLOMA SAYS OTHERWISE
  126. THE ONE GRANDMA WORRIES ABOUT
  127. BLACK SHEEP, WHITE LIES, BOLD CONFIDENCE
  128. VOTED MOST LIKELY TO GUESS
  129. CONSOLATION PRIZE CHAMPION
  130. KEEP AWAY FROM OPEN MICROPHONES
  131. OLDER, LOUDER, STILL WRONG
  132. HONORABLE MENTION IN COMMON SENSE
  133. MERRY CHRISTMAS, QUESTIONABLE DECISIONS
  134. I BRING SNACKS, NOT ANSWERS
  135. HONORARY DOCTORATE IN WINGING IT
  136. MOM'S FAVORITE. DON'T TELL THE SMART ONE.
  137. DOCTOR OF MAKING IT UP AS I GO
  138. THE BREAK ROOM'S REAL MVP
  139. TRIVIA NIGHT LIABILITY, VIBES CHAMPION
  140. YOU HAVE OTHER GREAT QUALITIES
  141. HAPPY HOLIDAYS FROM THE FAMILY'S CONFIDENT ONE
  142. GROUP CHAT'S CHIEF CONFUSION OFFICER
  143. OFFICE MASCOT, NOT OFFICE GENIUS
  144. DOING GREAT CONSIDERING
  145. SOMEHOW IT WORKS OUT FOR YOU
  146. 10 OUT OF 10 PERSONALITY, 4 OUT OF 10 TRIVIA NIGHT
  147. TRIED THEIR BEST, RESULTS MAY VARY
  148. THE FRIEND SEARCH ENGINES WERE INVENTED FOR
  149. OFFICIAL TITLE: GROUP CHAT COMEDIAN
  150. ANOTHER YEAR OLDER, SAME AMOUNT CONFUSED
  151. MAY CONTAIN TRACES OF OVERCONFIDENCE
  152. CERTIFIED FUN, UNCERTIFIED FACTS
  153. HOUSEWARMING GIFT FOR THE CONFIDENTLY CONFUSED
  154. EVERYONE'S A WINNER, SOME MORE THAN OTHERS
  155. BOARD-CERTIFIED OVERTHINKER OF SIMPLE THINGS
  156. THE ONE WE FACT-CHECK BEFORE REPEATING
  157. LAST PLACE, FIRST IN SPIRIT
  158. ADOPTED THE CONFIDENCE, NOT THE COMMON SENSE
  159. CONTENTS MAY NOT HAVE BEEN THOUGHT THROUGH
  160. FAMILY GROUP CHAT'S MAIN CHARACTER
  161. DO NOT OPERATE HEAVY MACHINERY OR SERIOUS CONVERSATIONS
  162. THE MEETING COULD'VE BEEN AN EMAIL. SO COULD I.
  163. WARNING: MAY SPEAK BEFORE THINKING
  164. CAUTION: CONFIDENCE EXCEEDS KNOWLEDGE
  165. NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR FACTS STATED AFTER 9PM
  166. FRAGILE EGO, HANDLE GENTLY
  167. THIS GIFT WAS CHEAPER THAN THERAPY
  168. SOME PEOPLE ARE BOOK SMART. THIS ONE IS VIBES SMART.
  169. REPLY-ALL CHAMPION, EVERYTHING ELSE TBD
  170. BEST FRIEND, WORST SOURCE
  171. PROOF THAT LOOKS AREN'T EVERYTHING
  172. NOT THE SMARTEST, DEFINITELY THE LOUDEST
  173. SQUAD'S LOUDEST, NOT ITS SMARTEST
  174. NEW YEAR, SAME CONFUSION
  175. FAREWELL GIFT: WE'LL MISS THE CHAOS
  176. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE GROUP'S DESIGNATED CONFUSED FRIEND
  177. THE FRIEND WHO READS THE ROOM WRONG, EVERY TIME
  178. CERTIFIED LOVABLE DISASTER
  179. MASTER'S DEGREE IN MISSING THE POINT
  180. NOT THE SHARPEST CRAYON, STILL MY FAVORITE COLOR
  181. CAKE FIRST, QUESTIONS NEVER
  182. LICENSED TO GUESS
  183. SHOW UP ENERGY, NO FOLLOW-THROUGH
  184. DIPLOMA IN CONFIDENT NONSENSE
  185. PARTY LIKE YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT'S HAPPENING
  186. JOB TITLE: VIBES COORDINATOR
  187. SO CONFIDENT, SO WRONG, SO CHARMING
  188. RUNNER-UP IN THE THINKING-IT-THROUGH CATEGORY
  189. FAMILY REUNION MVP: MOST CONFIDENTLY WRONG
  190. YOU TRIED, AND THAT'S WHAT MATTERS
  191. BRONZE IN OVERTHINKING, GOLD IN UNDER-THINKING
  192. IQ NOT INCLUDED
  193. ONE OF THE GOOD ONES, JUST NOT THE SMART ONES
  194. RETIREMENT: FINALLY, FEWER MEETINGS TO MISUNDERSTAND
  195. WARNING: RUNS ON CONFIDENCE, NOT FACTS
  196. BATTERIES NOT INCLUDED, NEITHER IS COMMON SENSE
  197. THE REASON WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS
  198. CONGRATS ON THE NEW JOB, GOOD LUCK TO THEM
  199. CERTIFIED GENIUS, SELF-APPOINTED
  200. LEVEL UP: SAME STATS, NEW AGE
  201. SELF-TAUGHT IN EVERYTHING, MASTER OF NOTHING
  202. CONFIDENTLY WRONG ABOUT NAP SCHEDULES
  203. I CC'D MYSELF FOR A REASON
  204. CURRENTLY CLIMBING
  205. ONE VIDEO FROM PERSONAL TRAINER STATUS
  206. MY SOURCE IS THAT I MADE IT UP
  207. IN RECOVERY FROM BEING RIGHT ABOUT EVERYTHING
  208. I READ ONE PARENTING BOOK AND JUDGED EVERYONE
  209. I PEAKED SOMEWHERE I SHOULDN'T HAVE
  210. WORKING ON IT. NOT REALLY.
  211. I DON'T KNOW MUCH, BUT I KNOW IT LOUDLY
  212. FORM OPTIONAL, CONFIDENCE MANDATORY
  213. PLATEAU OF SUSTAINABILITY CLUB
  214. MY WHOLE PERSONALITY IS THIS GRAPH
  215. I COULD COACH THIS TEAM BETTER. I COULD NOT.
  216. REF, I COULD DO YOUR JOB BLINDFOLDED
  217. MY CONFIDENCE PEAKED IN 2019 AND NEVER LEFT
  218. PEER-REVIEWED BY NO ONE
  219. I READ A SUPPLEMENT LABEL ONCE
  220. CITATION NEEDED. I HAVE NONE.
  221. BLISSFULLY UNAWARE, PROUDLY SO
  222. MY OPINION IS LOAD-BEARING. IT SHOULDN'T BE.
  223. THIRD BEST IN A ROOM OF THREE
  224. BIG CLAIM, SMALL EVIDENCE
  225. YOU ARE HERE
  226. COUCH COACH OF THE YEAR
  227. IGNORANCE IS BLISS AND I AM EXTREMELY BLISSFUL
  228. I HAVE A DEGREE IN BEING LOUD ABOUT THINGS I DON'T STUDY
  229. FULL-STACK OVERCONFIDENCE ENGINEER
  230. DRAFT PICK GENIUS. RESULTS MAY VARY.
  231. HYPOTHESIS: I'M RIGHT. DATA: PENDING.
  232. ASK ME ABOUT MY HALF-REMEMBERED PSYCH 101 FACT
  233. I READ THE DOCS. SKIMMED, REALLY.
  234. CERTIFIED MEETING INTERRUPTER
  235. CONFIDENTLY INCORRECT SINCE BIRTH
  236. WRONG, BUT MAKE IT CONFIDENT
  237. OBJECTS ON THIS CURVE ARE LESS COMPETENT THAN THEY APPEAR
  238. ASK ME, I'LL HAVE AN OPINION REGARDLESS
  239. STATISTICALLY INSIGNIFICANT, PERSONALLY CONFIDENT
  240. I MIGHT BE THE PROBLEM. STUDIES SHOW: DEFINITELY.
  241. FANTASY GENIUS, REAL-LIFE CONFUSED
  242. VALLEY OF DESPAIR SURVIVOR
  243. I GIVE ADVICE I'VE NEVER FOLLOWED
  244. SAMPLE SIZE OF ONE, CONCLUSIONS OF MANY
  245. RECOVERING KNOW-IT-ALL
  246. IGNORANCE IS CONFIDENCE'S BEST FRIEND
  247. I YELL BETTER PLAYS THAN I COULD EVER RUN
  248. SLOPE OF ENLIGHTENMENT, POPULATION 1
  249. MY ROADMAP HAS NO DATA, ONLY VIBES
  250. NINETY PERCENT SURE, ZERO PERCENT CORRECT
  251. EXPERT IN OTHER PEOPLE'S CHILDREN
  252. BOARD-CERTIFIED IN BEING LOUD ABOUT IT
  253. MT. STUPID
  254. SCREENSHOTTED FOR POSTERITY, REGRETTED IMMEDIATELY
  255. SENIOR TITLE, JUNIOR UNDERSTANDING
  256. I KNOW JUST ENOUGH TO BE DANGEROUS
  257. THE LOUDEST VOICE IS RARELY THE BEST INFORMED
  258. DISRUPTING INDUSTRIES I DON'T UNDERSTAND
  259. FACT-CHECKED BY VIBES
  260. REPLY-ALL EXPERT
  261. GYM FLOOR PEER REVIEW
  262. ARMCHAIR QUARTERBACK, CERTIFIED
  263. GAINS UNCLEAR, OPINIONS STRONG
  264. MACROS? I GUESSED.
  265. RATIO'D AND UNBOTHERED
  266. ANECDOTE BEATS EVIDENCE, ACCORDING TO ME
  267. I SKIPPED LEG DAY AND THE RESEARCH
  268. I ASSEMBLED IT WITHOUT INSTRUCTIONS. IT SHOWS.
  269. SHIP FAST, UNDERSTAND LATER
  270. TWO BEERS IN, SUDDENLY AN EXPERT
  271. CORRELATION IS MY FAVORITE CAUSATION
  272. I SEARCHED FOR THIRTY SECONDS, DEBATE ME
  273. MY SPORTS TAKES ARE UNDEFEATED IN MY HEAD
  274. AWARE OF MY OWN BIAS, IGNORING IT ANYWAY
  275. PROMOTED BEYOND MY COMPETENCE. ASK ME HOW.
  276. I SKIMMED THE ABSTRACT
  277. I WATCHED AN EIGHTEEN MINUTE TALK, NOW I'M A VISIONARY
  278. 10X CONFIDENCE, 0.5X OUTPUT
  279. DOING MY OWN RESEARCH, POORLY
  280. DEADLIFT HEAVY, READ NOTHING
  281. CONFIDENCE: HOMEMADE. SKILL: RETURNED.
  282. THIS SHIRT IS MY ONLY SELF-AWARENESS
  283. INSERT FOOT, REMOVE LATER
  284. THE LEAST QUALIFIED PERSON IN THE ROOM, LOUDLY
  285. I WATCHED ONE VIDEO AND NOW I RUN THE MEETING
  286. LOUD OPINIONS, THIN EVIDENCE
  287. PARENTING EXPERT SINCE MY KID TURNED TWO WEEKS OLD
  288. P-HACKED MY OWN PERSONALITY
  289. LIVE, LAUGH, OVERESTIMATE
  290. EGO: 100%. EXPERTISE: OPTIONAL.
  291. CERTIFIED IN GYM MIRROR CONFIDENCE
  292. PIVOTED MY WAY TO THIS OPINION
  293. PEAKED AFTER ONE WORKOUT
  294. I READ ONE ARTICLE AND NOW I'M A CONSULTANT
  295. IT WORKS ON MY MACHINE
  296. COOKS BADLY, EXPLAINS CONFIDENTLY
  297. UNSKILLED AND UNBOTHERED
  298. CONFIDENCE VS. COMPETENCE
  299. I WATCH MORE SPORTS THAN I UNDERSTAND THEM
  300. SEARCH HISTORY: DOCTORAL